sloth

When it comes to considering a change of career, I am all up for the challenge. The world is my oyster. But it's the burden of choice that, this morning, weighs me down.

Today I am in posession of some basic tools which, for a long period in my life, I had no claim to whatsoever. A healthy body (not beaten by drugs and alcohol), a sane mind (most of the time) and a bright outlook. Why then do I feel like my hands are tied by the bondage of option?

Is it that I make everything into a life or death dilemma myself? As my mother suggested, I am so used to having issues, that to have no issues whatever is an uncomfortable place? I must admit that I did rubbish this suggestion when it was put to me, but I now cannot deny the potential for truth in it.

On the other hand, it could just be pure sloth and fear. Or fear manifesting itself as sloth. Fear of failure leading to reluctance to even try.

An example is this. I am a qualified and experienced TEFL teacher, and I currently have the opportunity to upgrade my qualification, leading to the potential of a better job. I have all the stuff that I have to do right in front of me just now, yet I hesitate to start work on it. I fear that if I start it, I may not finish it. The day is good, I am off sick from work (was sick yesterday, feeling unexpectedly great today but had already made the sick call), my mental state is one of happiness, joy and freedom. Why can't I just get started?

I think sometimes I am overwhelmed by events, and more recently by non-events. Issues and non-issues. A product of the therapy generation.

Sigh.

Happy Thursday :)