I read a story by a recovered alcoholic, describing her thinking even before she picked up the first drink. She says, "I wanted to be as beautiful as Venus, as pure as the Madonna and as smart as the president of the USA is supposed to be".
Before I picked up (drink, a drug, a diet book, whatever) this was my kind of mad thinking. Ownership of that madness is a spectacular thing; ownership, then recovery. But sometimes it slips back, sometimes. The Experiment is one of these times.
Distraction, as I have previously mentioned, should be my middle name. I have everything going for me at the moment: an intelligent mind, a loving sister and best friend, and a splendid boyfriend. When madness strikes, no amount of things going for me or reason can stop it.
Rigorous inventory, only this can solve my self-centred madness and fear, and thus I must take stock and look at myself thoroughly. This reminds me that I'm not perfect, but I have made progress.
I will write more on this in my next post (or the one after). Just musings.
Before I picked up (drink, a drug, a diet book, whatever) this was my kind of mad thinking. Ownership of that madness is a spectacular thing; ownership, then recovery. But sometimes it slips back, sometimes. The Experiment is one of these times.
Distraction, as I have previously mentioned, should be my middle name. I have everything going for me at the moment: an intelligent mind, a loving sister and best friend, and a splendid boyfriend. When madness strikes, no amount of things going for me or reason can stop it.
Rigorous inventory, only this can solve my self-centred madness and fear, and thus I must take stock and look at myself thoroughly. This reminds me that I'm not perfect, but I have made progress.
I will write more on this in my next post (or the one after). Just musings.
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